We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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