I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
