I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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