bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
