...so i touched it.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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