We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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