Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
