If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize