Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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