Only a mothe r could love this liver
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
