I'm gonna have a badass scar
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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