Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
