David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
