I'm really into asian looking animals
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
