I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
