Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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