Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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