i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
