Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
