Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
