why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
