You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
