the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
