he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
