I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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