I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
