Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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