Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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