You're so nebulous sometimes
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize