Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
