and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
