if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so let's talk penis.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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