I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
