Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
