im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
