Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
