I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize