If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
