This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
