it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize