I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
