i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
