apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
