She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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