Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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