doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
