K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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