the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
