How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
