All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
