Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
