you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
