Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
