You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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