Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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