im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So vagazzling was a success
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
