This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
