Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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