so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
